There are many different levels of stress and from just reading your message- I’m not sure how stressed you get. Severe cases of stress require doctors and sometimes medication but I hope for your sake that you aren’t’ there yet. If you do have major troubles with dealing with stress then I would suggest that you have a chat with your GP he/she may be able to offer you more professional advice and may even give you specific exercises for dealing with these issues.
There is of course the famous ‘stress ball’ exercise which can actually be extremely effective in relieving anxiety. Stress balls are enough related to anger i.e. it’s much better to project your anger physical on a small foam ball rather than punch a hole in the wall. Stress operates in a very similar way to anger in the sense that once translated into physical frustration it may spiral into uncontrollable behaviour.
Deep breathing exercises are a fantastic way to calm you down and prevent your emotions from heightening. When you feel yourself getting stressed just take a deep breath and relax your shoulders.
If these simple exercises don’t work and your stress persists I would advise that you do talk with your GP even if it’s a one-off visit you may find it beneficial in the long run. I am including below a few links to helpful pages which highlight ways in which stress can be managed:
The following link won’t help you during tests but can be a really good thing to do when you come home for school/work and it only takes 90 seconds!
Well first of all and perhaps most importantly you need to make sure that you are definitely gay because things will get messy if you tell everyone and then realise that you aren’t. Remember that a lot of people undergo feelings of confusion especially during the teen years. I have a friend that thought she was gay so she came out to everyone and all seemed fine. Problem was about a month later she realised that she wasn’t and her whole “coming out” thing was just to rebel against her strict parents. Then she liked a guy and he kind of liked her but refused to date her because he thought she was gay. Long story cut short: Things can get messy.
Once you are certain that you are in fact gay the next step, as you mentioned, is coming out. Telling friends and family is important because while the majority of society accepts homosexuality now some people remain limited in their views and may challenge your decision. This part of the process is called ‘sorting the purists from the tourists’- it is the point where you get to find out who your true friends are. Most people when coming out are most scared of this part being they fear rejection however I think this is the most awesome bit because it really shows who genuine cares about you and you get the keep the best people as your friends as a result.
As for your family I’m not sure how they will take it but hopefully they will be understanding. Now back to your actually question- you don’t know how to tell people- it is very simple really. I would personally tell my family first. It doesn’t have to be a big announcement but it shouldn’t be “Hope have a nice day, by the way I’m gay ok bye” comment either. Make sure you tell them at a time where you can discuss it afterwards but also at a time where you end up trapped in an hour long conversation (especially if they don’t take it well) so ideally I’m thinking after dinner, before bed that kind of thing.
As for your friends I would tell them individually or in small groups and something along the lines of “I have been thinking a lot recently…” or “ I have realised that I am indeed gay” or “I think it’s important I tell you that…”
Alternatively (I would advise against this to start off with although it can work if you are confident) you can post something in an online message or let people know through facebook. I had a friend which told me and a group of friends that he was gay through a facebook message. He found it easiest because he avoided conformation (he was pretty shy) but still got the message. I have another friends which once they were certain they were gay and had told their family and closest friends, announced it on facebook by changing their interested in: Men/Women thing.
Personally, I think telling people face-to-face is the best way because ultimately they are going to either be there for you or not and you may as well find out sooner rather than later.
Rant over. Hopes this helps. Wishing you all the best.
Sorry but this is an advice blog. I operate this blog based on trust and I never intend to breach that trust. If you need advice I’m happy to answer your questions but I am not happy to leak information about other people. That defeats the purpose.
Absolutely! I promise. Remember: I don’t judge and I certainly don’t disclose private messages to other people. You can trust me.
Of course. I only publish anons unless asked otherwise.
You are most welcome :)
You aren’t being annoying haha this is an advice blog!
I think you will find that many people forget about things like that pretty fast. You seem really indecisive and in that respect you remind me of myself. Sometimes if I am approaching people about things like this I find it helpful to write a mental list (or if you are a visual person physically write it down) this way as you speak to them you are clear and you don’t forget to mention something important.
Also, if you really value this guy as a friend make sure you emphasize that you want to keep your friendship no matter what he says. Best of luck- you will be fine!
Thats up to you. Some people still believe that it is the boy’s “duty” as such to ask a girl out but that is pretty old fashioned. Many people nowadays would say that girls asking guys out is just as acceptable. If you are really torn between asking him or not just think- What is the worse that can happen? This way if the worse does happen, you can be prepare and if you don’t think you are able to deal with “the worst” (i.e. Him saying no) then don’t do it however I think you will find that either way its not the end of the world.
Don’t be scared! Allow me to introduce you to the concept of skinny love- so many relationships don’t happen because both parties are too afraid to intiate anything. Don’t let it happen to you and good luck!
No worries, glad to be of help. All the best!